DOWN WITH WEBSTER - 'She's Dope'

Origin: Toronto, ON
Category: STUFFED CRUST PIZZA
Cherchez La Moose: I want to hate this band. Their name is annoying, their lyrics are vapid and cringeworthy, and they have nothing to say. Rich Girls, Your Man, and She's Dope are all about ...well, exactly what you'd expect, and their one foray into different subject matter resulted in a song called Whoa Is Me, where they told us how whoa they are. You know what, though? It's sunny out. Summer is approaching. I kind of like dumb summer music. Down With Webster knows how to write a catchy hook, I'll give them that much. Add a bit of depth to their formula and they could be something interesting. Maybe.

SIMPLE PLAN - 'Welcome To My Life'

Origin: Montreal, QC
Category: VOLCANO TOSS
Cherchez La Moose: This one's a no-brainer. Welcome To My Life may very well be one of the worst songs ever created. Every generation has their own angst-fueled bands to identify with - mine were Limp Bizkit and Slipknot, back in the late 90's. I'm not sure if there has ever been a band as obvious and manipulative as Simple Plan though. I couldn't believe what I was hearing when this song first came out. I actually thought that they were parodying themselves. A little part of me dies every time I hear the singer whine about "big fake smiles and stupid lies." Can 13 year olds not see through this?